Jets

Bill Belichick's draft room setup drew attention around the NFL Friday evening, when his dog, Nike, was seen manning (or rather, dogging) the dual-screen laptops prior to the Patriots' first pick in the 2020 draft.

“Look guys, it’s really simple," said Ryan. "My Dad coached the Bears. They had a good defense and we have a good defense. Rex played for the Bears and almost beat Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl. 2006 Grossman is due. Plus, his name is Rex, and my name is also Rex.”

"This is bulls*@$!," Rex said groggily to the unnamed writer. "We're 5-4, I know it! No way they can fire me if we're 5-4, right? Let's go get a goddamn snack!"

"Shots to the knees shorten careers while headhunting leads to long-term CTE issues," said NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith. "But your testicles? What's the worst that can happen, low sperm count?"

"It's hard for me to fathom that the lowly Jets won any games this season, let alone their first one against a slightly better than average Tampa Bay team," said ESPN football analyst John Clayton. "We all thought they'd go 0-16 this year."

"This will give the league a ton of exposure," said Vinnie Andruzzi, commissioner of the Rex Ryan Puts The "Foot" In Football League. "Maybe we can have our draft televised on Fox Sports 1 to help it get better ratings."

Tim Tebow has just been cut from the Jets and his agent's phone has been ringing off the hook ever since. But it is not NFL teams that are calling to recruit the controversial quarterback. It is reality television producers calling to pitch show ideas to the failed football star. Some ideas coming from some not so regular reality outlets.