Boston

With an extremely busy sports news week in the city of Boston, the Bruins announcement that 23-year NHL veteran Jaromir Jagr will not be invited to return to the team next season fell a bit under the radar.

"Tough luck in Game 6," One Naperville fan told media sources. "I really thought we could come away with the win tonight after we stopped so many chances in the first period. But, at home, I think we can really take home the cup."

"I just really hate that guy," said Blackhawks fan Steve Marini. "And I've never gotten a chance to shout terrible things at Bettman in person. Just on TV. I think it would be fun and worth a Game 6 loss."

"With Toews and Kaner finally getting on the score sheet, it's just a matter of time before we take home the cup. Hawks in 6!" the Lisle, Illinois resident told co-workers this morning, a mere 24 hours after telling the same office-mates that the Bruins "just wanted it more" and that there was "no stopping Rask."

“Not since the hair-pulling match between Barbra Streisand and Bette Midler has there been this much interest,” producer Simon Cowell told interviewer Piers Morgan.

A friendly visit to the locker room by Red Sox first baseman and lifelong pariah Bill Buckner nearly backfired on Corey Crawford and the Blackhawks during a wild Game 4 victory in the Stanley Cup Final.

In a statement issued by the team, Kraft said, “Mr. Putin recently tweeted about how happy he is that Tebow is now a member of the Patriots. So I asked Tim if he wouldn’t mind signing for the President so I can get my ring back.”