Ravens

"This will be better than Madonna, Ashlee Simpson and Milli Vanilli all rolled up into one," she said. "I've been studying 'Blame it on the Rain' for weeks and I think I can top it."

In order to vent their frustrations about kickers sealing their fate in both the NFC and AFC Championship games, Jim Harbaugh, head coach of the 49ers, and John Harbaugh, head coach of the Baltimore Ravens, will spend the day seeking out and beating mercilessly any kickers they can get their hands on.

By Rick Atkinson. Click for a larger version.

Following the tradition set by the 1984 Baltimore Colts, some members of the 2012 Baltimore Ravens will be heading to Indianapolis for the Super Bowl in the middle of the night via Mayflower trucks. About 20 members of the team have agreed to take the trip led by MLB Ray Lewis and Defensive Coordinator, Chuck Pagano, who was just named the Colts new Head Coach.

Following his team's heart-breaking playoff loss to the Patriots Sunday, Ravens QB Joe Flacco announced he has accepted an offer to be lead singer in the Queen tribute band Killer Queen.

“None of my guys or Jim’s guys were ready to have our seasons end just yet.” said John. “But due to some NFL rules that only allow teams to play in the Super Bowl if they win their playoff games even if they're coached by a Harbaugh brother, we had to make some adjustments.”

After Billy Cundiff missed a 32-yard game-tying field goal, belligerent Ravens fan Walt Gumperson stormed out of Sam's Tavern in east Baltimore screaming of repercussions for the blown game.