Breaking!

"Seriously? This is actually happening?" asked Kenny Halvorsen of Waukegan. "Normally when I wake up to Bears news is that my favorite player got arrested overnight or something."

Jake Arrieta posted a farewell letter to Chicago on his Twitter account when he signed with the Phillies back in March. Now, with the Cubs starting a three-game series in Philadelphia, Arrieta posted a second note.

“Mitch will continue to take 250-300 snaps each week in practice for the next 15 seasons,” said Nagy, the 16th head coach in Bears' franchise history, and first to treat players differently from disposable cattle.

“Wow, it was so much fun watching seventh-round pick Javon Wims torch the Chiefs secondary! It’s nice to know he’s developing a strong rapport with Chase Daniel and Tyler Bray,” said the giddy Michaels, who was clearly unaware that the intricate series of rods and cones in his eyes, specifically used to transmit light and color into electrical signals to be processed by the brain.

"I want very much to perform at a high level for the Chicago Cubs," said Darvish through an interpreter. "But after reviewing the 2019 schedule that just came out, I'm afraid I won't be able to participate in any of those games."

"Look, you've got to score more than one run to win most ballgames," said manager Joe Maddon. "We're going to shake things up tonight."

Cubs’ co-owner Laura Ricketts today offered to pay for the apartment of newly acquired infielder Daniel Murphy, so long as he locates himself in Boystown.