Tyler Colvin uses scar from bat stuck in chest to pick up chicks
Normally modest and mild-mannered, Cubs outfielder Tyler Colvin has unleashed a new beast this spring by taking every opportunity to show Mesa-area ladies the chest scar he incurred late last season when he was impaled by a broken bat.
Aramis vows to give 100% effort and steal 50 bases in contract year
“Normally I’ll only give 100% two weeks before the All-Star break through the end of August,” said a yawning Ramirez after waking up from his usual mid-game nap. “I haven’t tried my hardest for an entire season since I was nine years old. It’ll be tough, but I think I can do it.”
The Heckler’s On Deck
The Heckler predicts what will happen in the world of sports this month.
Theriot’s Cubs Curse to blame for rash of Cardinal injuries
After the string of injuries suffered by Cardinal pitchers Adam Wainwright, Chris Carpenter, and Mitchell Boggs all within the first week of Spring Training, team doctors have determined the cause of such a striking plague to be the Cubs Curse carried over to the team by new infielder Ryan Theriot.
Wrigley Field to serve Cubs Kool-Aid this year
The Chicago Cubs have announced they will introduce a new drink in 2011 called “Cubs Kool-Aid,” to be made available during all Wrigley Field home games.
The Heckler Stat Pack
This edition of The Heckler Stat Pack includes a new NHL scoring system, NBA Awesome Percentage leaders and a breakdown of Ernie Banks' career.
South Side plumber turns down Wrigley Field job on principle
“I hung up on the jerk and told him to screw off because I thought it was a joke,” said the plumber. "Like I'd ever work at that hellhole."
