Sluggers bartender breaks Wrigleyville Waitress Code by getting in Playboy
"Normally we do it for free, you know, with baseball players and other rich guys," said Cohen. "But I decided to break the Wrigleyville Waitress Code and actually get paid to take off my clothes."
Apologetic Noah says he feels ‘totally retarded’ about gay slur
A day after shouting a homophobic slur at a fan in Miami, Bulls big man Joakim Noah apologized and said he feels "totally retarded" for using the unacceptable slang.
Cubs to replace circus at United Center next year
Instead of elephants and people being shot out of a cannon, the main draw at this year’s Chicago Cubs Circus will be an hourlong highlight reel of the Cubs' best bloopers from the previous season set to clown music and projected onto a giant IMAX screen.
Cubs-Red Sox a potential World Series preview, claims nobody
“It’s more likely that Aramis Ramirez will steal 10 bases this year,” said ESPN Radio’s Mike Golic. “I also think we could see Reed Johnson win the MVP award or Soriano hustle out a grounder before the Cubs and Red Sox square off for a title.”
Soriano to skip Cubs-Red Sox series after nightmare about ‘green monster’ at Fenway
“People say it eats left fielders alive,” said Soriano, still clutching the teddy bear he sleeps with each night. “Even Senior Tickles can’t protect me from the ‘Monstruo Verde.’ It’s a good thing I sleep with my helmet on or he would have eaten my cabeza.”
Cubs replace player names, numbers on back of jerseys with Chico’s Bail Bonds logo
“I’m not sure if Chico’s Bail Bonds is a real company, but I’m not one to pass up a potential new revenue source,” said Ricketts. “I am also contemplating changing our team colors from red and blue to yellow and white with ‘Bad News’ stitched across the front. This is awful!”
Guillen ‘distressed and perplexed’ by Quade’s ‘foul, abusive’ rant
"While I most certainly can empathize with his frustration, I find Mr. Quade's harangue neither professional nor appropriate," Guillen told reporters in the Sox clubhouse. "Why must that fellow demean himself and our grand pastime so with his foul, abusive vitriol? Yes, I am distressed. Distressed and perplexed."
