Guillen banned from local high school after profanity-laced graduation speech
Ozzie Guillen was barred for life from Wheaton Warrenville South High after delivering a withering, explicit speech at the graduation ceremony of the school’s class of 2011.
Heckler Comic: Jeter bails on Cubs series
The Yankees aren't the only ones upset about Derek Jeter being placed on the DL just before the team's series at Wrigley.
Bettman folds Canucks as Vancouver ‘again proves itself unworthy of an NHL franchise’
Bettman made the announcement from a limousine in downtown Vancouver that was being rocked back and forth by a few dozen local hooligans Wednesday night.
Hendry ecstatic about Pena’s .200-plus batting average
As the architect of a complete team failure, most would think Jim Hendry might spend his days weeping quietly while hiding in the bathroom, but he just can’t help himself from crowing about Carlos Pena’s .200+ batting average. “Everybody said he’d be lucky to hit .200. You reporters, you fans, you ‘baseball experts.’ Even Carlos himself said it."
Your wife excited about all the housework you’ll be doing instead of playing Fantasy...
"Sure, the weather may be crummy some days, but there's so much we can do inside," you wife said, nearly delusional with giddy. "Instead of the usual January tradition--following 16 NFL games, hoping a Fantasy team can make the playoffs--we can spend that entire day giving the kitchen a good, hard cleaning. I mean really attacking it."
David Einhorn sells minority share of Mets for 10 Shake Shack cheeseburgers
Just months after buying 33% of the beleaguered New York Mets franchise, minority owner and hedge fund manager David Einhorn has agreed to sell his stake in the team for 10 Shake Shack double cheeseburgers.
Cubs sign Dwight Gooden for starting pitching depth
Former Cy Young winner and perpetual train wreck Dwight Gooden has signed with the Cubs through the end of the season to give their much maligned starting rotation some depth.
