Michael Vick celebrates new contract by attending cockfight
After receiving the second $100 million contract of his career, Philadelphia Eagles QB Michael Vick celebrated by spending a night on the town, where he attending an especially atrocious display of cockfighting in the back room of a Philadelphia warehouse.
Roddick plans another early U.S. Open exit to have more time for sex with...
American tennis star Andy Roddick plans to have another early exit from the U.S. Open this year in order to rush home and have sex with his wife, supermodel Brooklyn Decker. Roddick is planning to tank in the second round or possibly pull a hamstring should he make the quarterfinals.
Struggling Dunn demoted to Comcast Fundamentals Deck
“Something had to be done,” said a downcast Williams. “His stroke is shot and we felt that hitting plastic wiffle balls off a tee with eight-year-olds might be the shock to get him back on track.”
Fantasy Report: How should Cedric Benson’s habit of getting drunk and punching people impact...
"I would proceed with caution both when approaching a most likely intoxicated Benson in an Austin bar and when considering drafting him for my fantasy league," said Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football Reporter Cody Findlay. "He's a bit of a wild card, both drunk and sober."
Con Edison unable to restore power to David Wright and Jason Bay
"We had hoped they'd be able to jump start Jason and David, but Con Edison told us they can only do so much," said Mets GM Sandy Alderson. "I suppose we should be happy we have electricity at our stadium, but I was really hoping to find a way we could get a little more pop out of these guys."
Bears sign Punt, Pass & Kick champ to fill 3 roster spots
“I realize we’re eating a lot of salary with these moves, but let’s face it, all three phases have been stinking up the joint,” said GM Jerry Angelo. “We’ve had our eye on Fudwanker since Junior Peewee ball, and he brings a lot to the table.”
Drunk and delusional Wisconsin man briefly claims he’s living in the center of the...
Intoxicated by the success of his favorite baseball team and the 15 Miller Lites he consumed while watching them sweep the Cubs this weekend, Wisconsinite Andy Maliszewski made the bold claim Sunday afternoon that Midwestern state was the center of the sports universe at that very moment.
