It’s become a sight all too familiar with Cubs fans: Kosuke Fukudome flailing helplessly at a slider low and inside as he helicopters himself around in a circle while missing the ball entirely. It has been a hard habit to break for Kosuke and batting “guru” Rudy Jaramillo, but an incident in yesterday’s ballgame may have finally convinced him to change his ways.
In the bottom of the fourth inning, Kosuke drilled himself five feet into the ground after swinging and missing at yet another pitch low and inside. The incident resulted in a delay of the game for three hours as the annoyed grounds crew had to dig him out.
“It’s not like we don’t have enough work to do around here,” said Jerry Smith, head of the grounds crew and the one who supervised the dig. “He was really stuck in there. It was like we were on an archaeological dig for dinosaur bones, only what we dug up was a lot less valuable.”
Jaramillo warned Kosuke about the possibility of this happening when he was hired last year to be the Cubs’ hitting coach, and is now hoping that Kosuke will finally listen. To further teach him a lesson, Jaramillo had the grounds crew wait at least a half an hour to start the dig so teammates and their families could take pictures next to Kosuke stuck in the dirt, shave his head, and draw a fake mustache and tattoos on his face.
Mike Quade is hoping this will result in better team chemistry, as many of the players seemed to bond and enjoy themselves as they put Carlos Silva’s unwashed jock strap on Kosuke’s head.
“It was nice to finally see the guys loosen up a bit after the recent dugout incident,” said Quade, who got into the action by giving Kosuke wet willies in both ears. “Kosuke might be upset for some time, but I think the rest of the guys are finally ready to start playing ball together as a team.”
By Michael Kloempken
