With spontaneous euphoria overtaking them, residents of Winnetka took to the village’s cul-de-sacs and boulevards, turning over bicycles and trampling flower beds in celebration of the Blackhawks winning the Western Conference final.
Police reported that a 24” J.C. Higgins bicycle with a blown balloon tire was found in a Rhododendron bush with the remnants of a banana seat strewn throughout Pine Tree Lane.
“I just planted a fresh bed of Amaryllis last Tuesday,” said a 67-year old woman, a resident of Cherry Street. “The little thugs stomped all over them.”
“For the record, ‘Winnetka’ is a Native American term meaning ‘beautiful land,’ and we damn-well intend to keep it that way,” a village spokesperson told The Winnetka Current, a local newspaper. “This community doesn’t put up with the riff-raff and ner’dewels, as other villages, like Kenilworth and Wilmette.”
“In fact, the village has called a special meeting on how to figure out what to do if the Cubs win the World Series.”
