The labor dispute between the National Football League and its officials has come to an end, and everybody in America is ecstatic to see the country’s most popular game being officiated by familiar faces.
However, a troubling new development is on the rise: Countless replacement officials are now out of jobs. So where does a pathetically horrible replacement official go once he’s lost his prime gig? Customer service.
“I figure I made hundreds of thousands of people violently angry for a three week period,” said ex-replacement official Ned Randall. “So, I asked myself, ‘Where can I garner that kind of emotionally provocative response from people?’ That’s when I decided I would work for customer service at DirecTV.”
Randall isn’t alone. It appears as though several former replacement officials are seeking the same kind of jobs—all with the hopes of angering masses of people and leaving them unfulfilled.
“I really miss the thrill of wondering when somebody was going to threaten my life,” said former replay official, Miles Jansen. “So I decided to take a day job working as a call tech for Dell and a night job working as an account executive for MediaCom. I even developed a fake foreign accent to really get people mad. I’ve never been threatened so much in my life!”
