The remaining Occupy Wall Street movement transformed into a full-blown riot yesterday when Mets’ pitcher Mike Pelfrey made an appearance to show his support. The crowd turned chaotic when Pelfrey handed out signed baseballs to the unemployed people on hand.
“I politely said no, but he still handed me a ball,” said protestor Conrad Hoss. “I checked what they were going for on eBay, and when I saw $3, I threw it back at him. The crowd followed my lead.”
Pelfrey was bombarded by more than 40 balls, and beaten by the police officers on hand. It marked the first time since the protests began that both cops and protestors united together.
“You want the honest truth? I was trying to injure him,” said NYPD officer Rich Goggliano, a lifelong Mets fan. “What’s he even doing here anyway? The guy is the poster child for overpaid Americans. Oh, and did I mention he’s dog shit?”
Pelfrey recently received a $5.7 million deal in arbitration, a nearly 45 percent increase from his salary in 2011, when he had a 4.77 ERA. Using his strikeout numbers from last season, he’d earn $54,000 per K, more than the average American makes in a year.
“I saw Kanye West visited, so I figured I would too,” said Pelfrey from his hospital bed. “I had no idea people hated me this much. I feel like I’ve pitched fine.”
Despite the injuries Pelfrey suffered, the Mets announced he’s still penciled in as the No. 2 starter in 2012, and expect an “incredibly average” season from him.
Follow Conz on Twitter – @vc_wg – He’s desperate for attention.
