As the Hollywood awards season rapidly approaches we have come to learn that LSU is a surefire lock to win the Academy Award for best performance depicting the St. Louis Rams in the three-hour National Championship special.

“The portrayal was absolutely uncanny, and we all loved the part of the performance where they didn’t cross midfield until the game was virtually over,” said one senior official of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. “At certain times it was hard to believe that we weren’t watching the actual Rams offense out there.”

Many critics recognized the great deal of talent it took to turn what all viewers thought would be an intense drama into a laughable comedic display.

“To go from the expected build up and hype we would expect in the last half of ‘Friday Night Lights’ to the hilarious slap-stick humor was a difficult 180 to pull and only the LSU offense was able to successfully accomplish such a feat this year,” Roger Ebert exclaimed after giving LSU’s performance of the Rams his highest acting rating since De Niro’s Portrayal of Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull.

We spoke to Les Miles after the live premier and he said it took months of practice and a lot of discussion with ex Rams coach Steve Spagnuolo to really get an accurate sense of how to look like the Rams.

“It was very difficult to master the laid-back, unhurried offense that the St. Louis Rams had perfected this season. We were able to do it on tape by slowing down the offense side of the film to half-speed, but it was much more challenging to depict the boring slowness of the team when the show went live. We decided the best method was to give absolutely no motivation to the team, and to fine the entire cast anytime someone on offense crossed midfield.”

The genius methods of Les Miles in directing the biography of the embarrassing 2011 Rams should also be considered for an award. The entire cast and production crew did an excellent job, although I would not recommend watching the National Championship, especially the uncut version, as we feel it goes on far too long for the casual sports fan. After 50 minutes of play we as the audience understand that LSU sucks and is supposed to lose. We also do not recommend this to viewers under the age of 18 as the graphic one-sided beat down may be too much for some younger viewers. For a more family friendly viewing you can see this entire cast put together a magical encore performance later this winter in “Failure on Ice: A Columbus Blue Jackets Story.”

MikeZillo