After scoring just 79 points in their season opener against the Pacers Monday, the Pistons called an emergency meeting with the ultimate conclusion being to lock themselves out of the rest of the season.

“We just realized the lockout wasn’t such a bad option for this club at this point.” said first-year coach Lawrence Frank. “I mean heck, the 79 points were the fewest scored in a season opener in franchise history. That’s no way to start the Lawrence Frank era. We figure we’ll scrap this season and start from scratch next year.”

Players agreed with the decision.

“Maybe Kyle [Singler] has the right idea,” said rookie Brandon Knight, referring to the fellow Pistons rookie who decided to stay in Europe rather than return to the struggling franchise. “Why come to Detroit and get our butts kicked every night when I can go to Europe, get paid and not be affiliated with this team.”

The only Piston who voted against the self imposed lock out was veteran Ben Wallace.

“I’m at the end of my playing days so every paycheck counts,” said Wallace. “And now I need to find money somewhere to pay my DUI court costs.”

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