As if Monday mornings aren’t bad enough, some guy you work with has been talking all day about a bunch of things you don’t care at all about, namely his fantasy football team.

“If Marshawn Lynch scores two TDs tonight I’ll win the first round of my fantasy football playoffs,” said the guy. “It’s been a real up and down year for my squad, but if we can pull out of this and get into the finals next week I’ll be thrilled.”

The guy — whose name might be Chad, or maybe it’s Matt — can’t see by the dead, disinterested look in your eyes that there are roughly three million things you’d rather be doing right now than sitting in a cubicle on a Monday morning listening to him talk about how great he was on the waiver wire this season, picking up Antonio Brown and Victor Cruz when no one else in his league even knew their name.

And as much as you’d like to just come out and tell Chad/Matt that you’re really sick of his fantasy team being the dominate topic of conversation for the last 14 weeks — including that killer week in early November when all three of his quarterbacks were on a bye — you’re a little reluctant to do so because you think he might be senior to you at the company and you’re really hoping for a promotion in the next six months because not only would it mean an extra $100 a week (before taxes) but you’d have a much better shot at getting moved to an office with an actual door that you can close when you hear Chad/Matt

“So yeah, if I get through this round I’m going to be in for a tough, tough championship game,” you let Chad/Matt continue without interruption. ”

hecklerstaff