As Cubs fans celebrate the likely hiring of Theo Epstein as GM, it’s yet another instance of the team’s biggest news happening off the field. In the long and mostly forgettable history of the Cubs, most of the team’s big news has occurred off the field. Here’s a glimpse.

Cubs highlights from the last 100 years or so

2011: Cubs reportedly hire Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, assuring they will win somewhere between zero and 15 World Series titles in the next 20 years
2010: Mike Quade is named interim manager for two more years, news that angers Cubs fans who felt Ryne Sandberg should manage because he was awesome at playing baseball
2009: Ricketts family buys team, immediately focuses on improving Wrigley Field restrooms
2007: Cubs sign Alfonso Soriano to a blockbuster contract that pretty much everyone calls a brilliant move at the time
2006: Expanded bleachers open at Wrigley Field, allowing 40 percent more drunk frat boys on game days
2004: Cubs pinpoint cause of epic late-season collapse as TV broadcasters Steve Stone and Chip Caray are forced out
2003: Bartman incident occurs, spurring terrible Halloween costumes and a so-so ESPN documentary
2000: Absolutely nothing of any importance happened on or off the field in 2000 but 2.7 million people still came to see it anyway
1994: Player strike mercifully ends a terrible 49-64 campaign
1988: Fans are now able to watch mediocrity at night as lights are finally installed at Wrigley Field
1986: Cubs fire Marla Collins after the foxy ballgirl poses in Playboy
1961: Cubs employ unorthodox “College of Coaches,” an eight-person panel that oversees 64-90 and 59-103 season before the team abandons the experiment
1945: Billy Goat incident occurs, plaguing generations of Cubs fans with terrible Joe Buck one-liners
1916: Cubs move into Wrigley Field, a urine-soaked $250,000 stadium they plan to patch together with netting and cheap cement countless times over the next century

hecklerstaff