Legendary trainer Bob Baffert — whose Kentucky Derby-winning horse Medina Spirit is under scrutiny after testing positive for a banned substance — has entered two new three-year-old equines into this Saturday’s Preakness Stakes, a chestnut colt named A-RodtheGod and a palomino filly known as BigMacAcneAttack. Prior to this week, nobody had ever heard of either thoroughbred.
“I just brought them over on a cargo ship from Siberia,” said Baffert. “They’ve been undergoing the most intense and rigorous training regime, not seen since the likes of Ivan Drago.”
Baffert attempted to enter two other late additions — HugeCraniumBarry and LeggoMyCanseco — into the second leg of the Triple Crown but was denied when it was discovered that both horses were too large to fit into the starting gates. A-RodtheGod goes off as the heavy favorite at 3-2 with BigMacAcneAttack in the middle of the pack at 12-1.
Chicago White Sox manager Tony LaRussa plans to throw some money on the underdog.
“That Big Mac horse reminds me of a guy I used to manage with the A’s and Cardinals, pretty good-sized fella,” said LaRussa. “He used to spend a lot of time in the bathroom stall. Must have been indigestion.”
