With this off-season shaping up like the last few, many big-name players with expired or about-to-expire fear teams will plead poverty and make them no offers.

Boston OF Mookie Betts is among those players who today announced plans to retire immediately. Set to make $27 million in 2020 before becoming an unrestricted free agent in 2021, many inside baseball believe the Red Sox will deal him this winter in an effort to trim payroll and get something in return for Betts before he walks after the season. Unfortunately for the Red Sox and Betts, dealing the four-time All-Star and 2018 MVP is proving to be nearly impossible.

“Every team we’ve approached doesn’t want to pay his $27 million salary next season, let alone sign the massive long-term deal he’ll demand heading into 2021,” said Red Sox chief baseball officer Chaim Bloom. “When we approached Mookie’s camp to update them on this news, he unfortunately decided to leave the game of baseball effective immediately.”

Betts soon after confirmed the news.

“Screw this shit,” said Betts. “I’ve already won a World Series and a Gold Glove and I’ve made $30 million in my career and I’ll be damned if I have to go begging anyone out there for a new contract.”

Betts said he had plenty of fall-back plans.

“I love bowling, so maybe I’ll go dominate that sport instead of baseball,” said Betts. “I’d rather make a couple million a year crushing pins than haggle over contracts with a bunch of billionaire baseball owners.”

hecklerbrad