As the entire league is abuzz with trade deadline deals the White Sox were not to be left out. The team made a deal of its own, acquiring a huge parking lot near Guaranteed Rate Field.

“We had an opportunity to add a nice piece to our franchise that will fit right in,” said GM Rick Hahn. “We already have six massive parking lots surrounding our park so this new parcel of vacant land will fit in nicely.”

Hahn said the parking lot should prove invaluable for the team’s four sellouts each year and their inevitable playoff run in four or five seasons once their rebuild finally takes hold.

“Sure, a lot of franchises would prefer to be surrounded by a neighborhood to give fans a great experience inside and outside the stadium,” said Hahn. “But why do that when we’re getting 20 bucks a pop for up to 7,000 parking spots?”

Added Hahn: “Correction as of this huge acquisition: 10,000 parking spots.”

hecklerstaff