After a tumultuous summer rocked by an ongoing sexual assault scandal, Patrick Kane addressed the media at training camp in South Bend today, but failed to discuss the apparent 20 years he’s aged in the last three months.
“I appreciate the question, I really do,” said Kane after reading a canned statement. “But I’m only here to discuss hockey, not my excessive wrinkles, thinning hair and sunken facial features.”
Kane’s teammates have been supportive throughout the entire ordeal.
“Kaner’s been through a lot this summer and he barely looks 40, let alone 46,” said captain Jonathan Toews. “It’s hard to tell when looking at him that his entire career hangs in the balance and that he’s potentially ruined the lives of numerous people, including himself and his accuser.”
Added Toews: “He almost looks like he’s been able to sleep at night. Almost.”
