Following Sunday’s controversial overturn of Dez Bryant’s catch against the Packers, the NFL has overturned every catch ever, citing that in all cases the receiver eventually gave up possession of the ball, thereby ending the play with something other than a “football move.”

“No receiver in the history of the game has ever retained possession of the ball forever, thereby ending the play with what must be ruled an incomplete pass,” said Fox’s Mike Pereira. “There is no stated limit as to how long a catch must be maintained in order for it to be ruled to be completed so if we’re looking at the letter of the rule, I think the NFL got this one right.”

Former NFL all-time receptions leader Jerry Rice was understandably upset after learning he’s now just another guy from Mississippi after his 1,549 career catches were wiped out.

“That rule needs to be changed immediately,” said Rice. “What does the NFL expect me to do, carry around every ball I ever caught for my entire life?”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell denied what some critics were calling “a war on the forward pass.”

“In our league, we take the enforcement of rules very seriously,” said Goodell. “I feel for Dez Bryant and the thousands of other men who thought they’ve caught passes in the NFL, but a rule is a rule and we must enforce it, even if it makes no sense whatsoever.”

hecklerstaff