Owners of buildings overlooking Wrigley Field today dropped the lawsuit they’d filed earlier this year to prevent the Ricketts family from blocking their view after realizing Cubs baseball is best enjoyed while physically being unable to watch it.

“We’re talking about a team that’s lost more than 90 games a season for the last five years. Does anyone really want to watch these guys play baseball?” said rooftop owners’ spokesperson Michael Fielder. “Everyone just comes here for the party, not the baseball, so that’s what we’ll give them.”

Fielder said the new experience has been branded “Wrigley Rooftops: Be Glad You Can’t Watch It” and that even if the Wrigley renovations don’t completely block the view of all the rooftops, the owners will erect their own signs to prevent their attendees from being subjected to the Cubs’ brand of baseball. The new blocked rooftops will surprisingly fetch an estimated 50 percent more per attendee too.

“We pulled together a focus group at Murphy’s the other night, and each and every person said they’d pay much more for an open bar and unlimited food experience in Wrigleyville with the added value of not being forced to also watch the Cubs play,” said Fielder. “It’s a win-win.”

“Or if you add the Cubs to it, it’s a win-win-lose.”

hecklerstaff