It wasn’t the weather after all. With concerns swirling that frigid temps on the East Coast would cause Super Bowl XLVIII to be postponed, an even more powerful force entered the equation.

“In lieu of staging an actual game and letting people experience something in reality, we’ve decided to just team up with BuzzFeed to determine who you would have rooted for, if the game had actually been played,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “People love those quizzes. Just the other day my Facebook news feed was littered with friends touting which New Girl character they were. Or which decade they really should have lived in. It’s just fun.”

Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning had mixed emotions about replacing an actual football game with an unscientific online quiz.

“On the one hand, we don’t have to play in sub-zero temperatures,” he said. “But I took the quiz and it said I would’ve rooted for the Seahawks, so obviously that sucks. I mean, those quizzes are foolproof. I guess I’m a traitor.”

Based on the number of times the quiz has been shared via social media, football fans are fine with the greatest spectacle in sports being reduced to a few cheesy images with checkboxes next to them.

“Why bother gathering with friends and watching the whole game when you can just share this hilarious, insightful quiz on Facebook?” asked Seahawks fan Bob Stinson. “A couple weeks ago I took a quiz and it said I should live in Portland! I’ll never go there or anything, but it was really fun to share with my virtual friends. I got 10 likes on that post!”

hecklerstaff