Chicago fans on both sides of town will have to wait until next season to see their favorite team in the playoffs after the Cubs and White Sox were mathematically eliminated from postseason contention on Sunday. The teams have a combined record of 23-37.

“I don’t believe this,” said lifelong Cubs fan Bob Benson. “Sure, we had a slow start and the bullpen is a mess, but I really thought it was finally the year…again.”

Fans on the South Side were even more surprised.

“I knew the Cubs were going to suck like usual, but I thought for sure Paulie and the boys would win it all just like in 2005, man!” said Beverly native Alex Markowski. “I already started gathering tires for the fire and everything!”

hecklerstaff