Michael Vick made controversial headlines recently when he admitted to owning a dog. In an ironic twist, Vick’s new pooch is actually the only living creature excited to see him any more after his recent play on the football field has left fans, friends, and family distancing themselves from the controversial athlete.
The fluffy little Pomeranian named Ron Barxico always rushes to the door when Vick enters his home and proceeds to spin in circles and jump up on his legs. Little Ron doesn’t care how many turnovers Vick just committed — he only wants to be petted and given a Beggin’ Strip.
“I know I’ve done some bad things to dogs in the past,” Vick said. “But I just can’t get enough of the little guy’s unconditional love. Whenever I fill up my plate for dinner, he gets under my legs and I trip and fumble my food and he gobbles it right up. It makes him really happy. Then when I’m throwing a ball to my kids in the yard he leaps up and intercepts it then proudly runs around until we catch him.”
Barxico’s behavior is a stark contrast to Vick’s recent interaction with humans. Nobody even says hi to him at the barber shop down the road, for example. They just pretend not to see him and carry on like he doesn’t exist.
While Ron Barxico is extremely happy in his new home, other dogs around the neighborhood have been contemplating telling him the truth about his new owner.
“We understand how comfortable he is right now, but we kinda feel an obligation to tell him who this dude really is … ” said Bocephus the Bulldog through a doggy translator. “It’s like when I told my buddy Hank the Great Dane that the Chinese Crested he’d been hanging out with had already been with every other dog on the block. I knew he’d be devastated but it was the right thing to do.”
If things don’t turn around for Vick and the Eagles soon, even Ron Barxico may begin calling for Nick Foles to start at quarterback.
