Purchasing manager Allen Benson recently underwent a magical transformation as a result of receiving Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville’s mustache during a procedure aimed at giving the 31-year-old a much-needed boost of self-esteem.
“Before the transplant I was always doubting myself and being kind of a wuss,” said Benson. “But now that I have this thick, lustrous mustache, I can do anything! It’s only been on my face two days, and I’ve already demanded a promotion and had sex with the hottest woman in the office.”
The surgery is believed to be the world’s first successful transplant of its kind. Former pitching ace Rollie Fingers donated his iconic mustache to a teenager back in 1981, but the handlebars didn’t take and the teen was forced to wait six more years before being able to grow his own facial hair.
Photoshop by Joel Nielsen
