The All-Star rosters were announced Sunday, and much to the Cubs faithful’s chagrin, Anthony Rizzo was left off the team.
“I don’t understand what this guy has to do to get some recognition,” said Cubs fan Mitch Campanella. “He can hit for power and walk on water, I think his WAR is already at like 300! Outrageous!”
Major League officials did announce a spike in votes for Rizzo, upon entering baseball this week, as many Cubs fans took to writing-in his name for any position. With the flood of last minute votes coming in, MLB also accepted ballets with the names: Risso, Jesus, Left Field Sucks, Woozo, Savior, and White Corey Patterson written-in, assuming they were votes for Rizzo. Unfortunately the grassroots campaign fell short.
“I already started voting for him in the 2013 All-Star Game,” said Campanella. “I don’t care what numbers he has, he is single-handedly taking us out of last place and competing with the Padres for 15th in the N.L.”