A day after coach Mike D’Antoni shockingly quit, Carmelo Anthony offered a reason for his poor play this season: Lent.
“Most people don’t know, but I’m a very religious man,” Carmelo stated. “I was always told you had to give up something you truly love as a test, so I picked my bread and butter … then I remembered I gave up bread and butter last year, so I chose basketball.”
Melo claims the game he is currently playing is not basketball, but a variation of the sport in which you play like a blind person with a broken ankle. He also pleaded with his teammates to pick up the slack while he made his 40-day sacrifice.
“Look, I’ll never talk down someone else’s religion, but this is why I’m Jewish,” said teammate Amar’e Stoudemire. “And as we all know, Jewish people aren’t really basketball players, so there’s my excuse.”
Since Melo’s return from injury on Feb. 20, the Knicks are struggling to keep hold of the eighth playoff spot in the East. Lent began on Feb. 22, and ends on April 5, so Knicks fans can expect at least three more weeks of poor play from their star.
“Yeah, but after April 5th, look out man,” Anthony said. “I’m gonna try my hardest in those last 11 games of the season. You just watch!”
