Mets create revenue by selling players’ names to advertisers

The Mets have found a creative new way of generating additional revenue: by selling their own players’ names to prospective advertisers.

“Always read the fine print,” said Ross Gold, Mets lawyer. “Once a contract is signed, the team owns the player’s name for the extent of the deal. There’s nothing unconstitutional or against the law going down here.”

The naming rights are being sold on a scale depending on the salary of the player. David Wright has fetched the most interest, and as of yesterday it looks as if his jersey will simply say “Geico” in 2012. The insurance giant reportedly shelled out $3 million to change the star third baseman’s name.

“I just don’t care anymore,” said a downtrodden Wright. “I … just don’t care. Believe me, I’ve been called much worse.”

Right fielder Lucas Duda’s name was sold for $750,000. The slugger will be known as “Papa John’s New Hand Rolled Thin Crust Pizza Presents Lucas Duda.”

Thanks to a $1.5 million purchase from an anonymous distributor of adult themed toys, R.A. Dickey will keep his name. The R.A. will now stand for “Remotely Accessible.”

Pitcher Mike Pelfrey received the lowest bid, and was sold to Chico’s Bail Bonds – apparently, a real company – for $38 and a box of Batting Helmet Ice Cream bowls.