An interesting theory has surfaced in the NBA labor talks as New York Knicks owner James Dolan admitted he was the sole cause for the work stoppage which has delayed the start of the 2011-12 NBA season. Dolan said that he created the lockout so fans wouldn’t have to sit through another full, 82-game season of nearly non-existent Knicks defense.
The admission by Dolan came on the heels of an announcement by New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg, who said it has been proven that sitting through a full, 48-minute Knicks game can lead to serious health problems like nausea, diarrhea and amnesia, along with a bad cold. This is due to the atrocious defense Knicks players exhibit during games.
“Yes, the allegations are true,” Dolan said at his Long Island home. “I made up the entire NBA lockout. In reality, there is no CBA or Player’s Association or even a commissioner, as David Stern is a figment of my imagination. As to how I led everyone to believe there was a lockout, I have very deep pockets so I hired professional actors to play the big names involved in the lockout. For example, I got Jack Nicholson to play David Stern, Tyler Perry for Billy Hunter, and Jerry Stiller to play mediator George Cohen. Good news is that my plan is working wonderfully and not one Knicks fan has gotten sick from watching the Knicks’ terrible defense this season.”
By Josh Burton, Follow me on Twitter: @vcarternj
