Only one football team actually plays in the state of New York, but yet you’d never know that by reading the papers. The Bills defeated the “Dream Team” Eagles to bring their record to a New York-best 4-1 Sunday, leading to a sudden resurgence in tri-state relevance.
“What have you done for us lately?” asked Bills WR Steve Johnson. “It’s funny. The Giants and Jets embarrass themselves and all of the sudden the Daily News, Post, Times … all of ’em want a piece of us.”
The surprising Bills have adopted the nickname “Ugly Ducklings,” referring to how they’ve been an afterthought for the better part of two decades, and now, suddenly hot, have received all the attention.
“We win a few big games and they try to shoehorn us into their New York sports programs like they did with the Sabres,” said Bills owner Ralph Wilson, still feisty at 92 years old. “We’re usually the team New York keeps in the attic when company comes over.”
After 51 years of almost constant calamity, the state of New York officially turned the 2-3 Jets back over to New Jersey, opening up a hole for a second team.
“The Giants are still decent enough, but the Jets are back to being a joke,” said Gregory Pitz, a high-ranking New York marketing guru. “Then we remembered the Bills were a thing, and apparently they are leading their division, so we decided to put all the New York hype on them.”
Residents of Buffalo are torn by the awakened attention. Some feel it’s long overdue, while others wish to remain anonymous. One fan even claimed he’d hoped Canada would adopt the Bills instead.
As far as football fans in the city, scores of Williamsburg hipsters are already claiming to have been Bills fans “before it was cool.”
