The Packers won their 13th championship and fourth Super Bowl last season, a fact most of America doesn’t believe is enough to change their nickname for Green Bay from “Armpitville” to ‘Titletown.”
“Their football franchise is definitely impressive,” said Chicagoan Mike Benson. “But you know what’s more impressive? The smell. That city is like a giant armpit inhabited by large, pale human-boars. You know, like they’re half-human and half-boar.”
Natives of Green Bay don’t understand the hate from outsiders.
“Of course Titletown is the greatest city in the world. Forget school systems or unemployment or this culture crap everyone is always talking about,” said longtime Packers fan Ralph Wonikowski, as he cracked open his eighth beer of the afternoon. “All that matters is football. And cheese. And we got the best of both! The Bears still suck! The Bears still suck!”
When asked how he felt Green Bay stacked up with New York, home to the Yankees, a team with twice as many championships as Green Bay, Wonikowski was confused.
“Look, there can only be one ‘Titletown’ and I live in it,” he said. “I don’t care how many ‘titles’ some lame baseball team from some other state wins. Maybe they should call New York ‘Titletown Junior’ or something. I bet they all wished they lived here anyway.”
