Last month the notoriously stingy Cubs unveiled a $3 beer promotion hoped to draw more fans to Wrigley’s bleachers for Tuesday night games.
The 60 percent discount struck some as generous until it was revealed that the discounted beers will be only four ounces, just one-third the regular size.

“Oh man, did we leave that out of the news release?” asked Chief Marketing Officer Wally Hayward. “That’s a terrible oversight on our part.”

Hayward insisted the promotion was not intentionally misleading and even added a few other perks about the four ounce beers.

“With just 33 percent the calories of a regular-sized beers, these are very healthy!” said Hayward. “And you can impress the ditsy tramp sitting behind you by saying you drank 15 beers and she’ll probably want to go home with you because she’ll mistake you for a manly drinker.”

Image by Pat Lamorte

hecklerstaff