In order to reduce concussions, the NFL recently moved kickoffs up to the 35-yard line, and went as far as proposing to eradicate them altogether. What other ideas have they come up with?
1. Mandatory 15-step drop for quarterbacks
2. Defensive linemen must count to “four-potato” before rushing
3. Players encouraged to say “please” and “thank you” during handoffs
4. QBs allowed to wear disguises during “sneak” plays
5. Running backs can use ditzy cheerleaders as super-sexy human shields
6. Wide receivers now allowed to fair catch passes between the hashmarks
7. Ball carriers must pre-fall down WWE-style amidst a pending tackle
8. When games go into OT each team is awarded a point, head coaches play HORSE for the win
9. Serta mattress company recruited to construct new playing surfaces
10. Reebok introduces bubble-wrap-lined team uniforms
11. Definition of concussion changed to “head no longer attached”
12. Players will just sit on the sidelines and play video games instead
By Dan Bradley, George Ellis, Brian Berns and Todd Regan
