Ruining an otherwise strong NCAA bracket was Mark Higgins’ improbable choice of “Fritos” to defeat Syracuse and North Carolina on its march to the Sweet Sixteen.
“Damnit!” said the 28-year-old Starbucks employee, realizing he had a salty snack advancing all the way to the Elite Eight. “I knew I shouldn’t have smoked that second joint while I was filling it out. It sucks because the rest of my bracket is solid. Usually when I’m stoned I’m in the gambling zone.”
Higgins’ belief in his stoned betting acumen dates back to the time he won $20 after accurately predicting the color of the next three cars to round the block, stunning Brian Rougell, his best friend.
“He’s like some kind of pot genius,” said Rougell, a cashier at Best Buy who was behind a dumpster smoking a bowl when interviewed. “But even I could’ve told you Fritos wouldn’t make it out of the first round. Pizza, man. That’s where it’s at. Hey…you got any pizza? Also I think Clemson is going to win it all.”
