It was the Blackhawks who were reeling rather than the Canucks after Chicago’s rousing 5-2 Game 3 win at Vancouver Wednesday night, when Canadian immigration officials deported the evening’s star Dustin Byfuglien as a perceived national security threat.
“The U.S. isn’t the only country with completely unreasonable immigration policies, eh?” said Scott Rochester of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. “Hockey player and border patrol goon are the only two legitimate professions for young Canadian men and last night Mr. Byfuglien — an American citizen — was in danger of stealing both types of jobs.”
For all Canadian games in the foreseeable future, the Blackhawks now find themselves without the services of Byfuglien who went off for a hat trick, getting into several scraps and serving four penalty minutes Wednesday night.
Coach Joel Quenneville was anything but diplomatic after learning his Game 3 star was sent packing.
“Unbelievable,” said Quenneville. “If not for the universal health care, beautiful wildlife, freaky hockey groupies and many other perks of being a Canadian citizen, I would be be burning my Canadian passport right now.”
Quenneville said he wasn’t quite sure how he’d replace the resurgent Byfuglien, who earned his first hat trick since 2008.
“We have some options, but replacing Byfuglien will not be easy,” said Quenneville. “It took me two years just to learn how to pronounce his name, but since then he’s really grown on me.”
By Brad Zibung
