|
Great news: The Heckler’s August issue has hit the streets. As usual, it’s packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. Before we get to the headlines, please join The Heckler and I WISH at Finley Dunne’s Wednesday, Aug. 26 for Fantasy Football 101 with resident expert Matt Wood, who will give such critical lessons as “Don’t Draft T.O.” and “Mock Draft: Your Pick Sucks.” Space is extremely limited. Click here to register.
Among this issue’s headlines
Cubs News
Bloated Soto gets stuck in MRI machine
Cubs fan with iPhone can’t recall one play from game he attended
Ted Lilly All-Star jersey unpurchased by anyone other than pitcher’s family
Scandalous Rick Morrissey hotel video called ‘disgusting’ and ‘sick’
Soto warns about the dangers of Goldenseal; Drug masking agent ‘doesn’t work at all’ according to catcher
Derrek Lee’s neck spasms lead to case of ‘Giraffe Neck’
Drunk Rascal Flatts fan wakes up in Wrigley storage bin three weeks after concert; ‘How the hell did I get here?’ asks man in straw cowboy hat and sparkly button-down shirt
“Fox Headz”: PETA protests head wear of Jake Fox fan club
X Games to be held at Wrigley between innings; Cubs add revenue with half pipe in outfield
Mel Rojas joins Dan Plesac, Mitch Williams on MLB TV; Network now employs three worst Cubs relievers of all time
Zambrano, Bradley pictured on boxes of Froot Loops
Left field prayer group section added at Wrigley to support Soriano’s foibles
Aaron Miles found in time capsule below Wrigley Field
Body parts from Cubs rotation pieced together to form one healthy pitcher
Desperate to cut salary, Pirates sell Roberto Clemente statue to Nats
Woo-Woo in History: 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago
White Sox News
Sox move forward with plans to issue playoff tickets for some reason
Comcast still doing game recap from Buehrle’s perfect outing last month
Sox fans gear up on camo perfect game T-shirts for next game or hunting trip
Bears/NFL News
Cutler wears party helmet to practice
Fantasy Update: For first time ever, man not laughed at for drafting Bears QB; Then loses credibility by taking Bears WR
Cutler still thinks team signed Holt and Owens
Butterfinger signs Rashied Davis to 1-year sponsorship deal
Packers install edible cheese seats at Lambeau
Blackhawks News
Burish flies to Buffalo just in case other cabbies try to retaliate against Kane
Columnists
The Heckler’s Sports Talk Radio Man Screamin’ Johnny Blaze can’t believe they named the Sears Tower after P.T. Willis
|
