Great news: The Heckler’s June issue has hit the streets. As usual, it’s packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. Before we get to the headlines, The Heckler is co-sponsoring a pair of great events this month: unbeatable rooftop deals for Cubs-Twins and Cubs-Indians and National 40 oz. Week at The Fifty/50. Spread the word!
Among this issue’s headlines
Cubs get Bradley’s mouth zippered shut
Dempster dons wacky, spinning bow tie after ‘flippy mitt’ loses effectiveness
Piniella goes on hunger strike; Won’t eat until bullpen works scoreless inning
Entire bullpen gets super-thick Kevin Gregg-style glasses
Cubs’ sale delayed by disorganized staffer; Accountant can’t find file buried in messy desk
Panic ensues as Wrigleyville rooftop runs out of beer
Citywide parade held to celebrate Cubs’ first two-run inning in recent memory
Cubs install steel-plated Gatorade machine
Bradley pictures ump’s face on ball, hits 520-foot home run; ‘A little extra motivation’
is all slugger needed
Cubs adds Bradley china doll promotion; Figurines come broken into dozens of pieces
Woo-Woo in History: Pride Parade, baby
Heilman bursts into flames
Crosstown Classic News
Guillen conducts insult seminar to prepare team for Wrigley series
South Side teen kicked out of house for wearing blue during series promo
Winner of Cubs-Sox series will move up to 16th place in Phil Rogers’ power list
Last ‘2005 World Champs’ White Sox car flag finally withers away
Pierzynski, Bradley in same stadium creates orange-level terror alert
White Sox News
Obama has Peavys taxes audited; Oswalt’s family held in a federal jail
World’s largest ‘Cubs suck!’ chant planned for Sox visit to Miller Park
Billy Beane looking forward to Kenny Williams panic trade
Cubs Opponent News
Leyland turns into cigarette
Cubs must avoid oil slick at third from Crede’s hair
Other Chicago Sports News
Super Cuts offers ‘Super Cutler’ special; Botched ‘do by unskilled stylist for only $4.99
Derrick Rose admits O.J. Mayo played for him last season
Magic Johnson still convinced Orlando’s team named after him
Columnists
Joe Malonecki decides it’s time to man up
The Heckler’s Sports Talk Radio Man Screamin’ Johnny Blaze says we should cheat more and get caught less
Real Deal
5 Hours with Wood hit up a pair of new places on Clark: Roadhouse 66 & The Stretch
Jen thinks she’s a chunky Cubbie
Loco Rob gives up his girlfriend to get his focus back
