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 David Kaplan doesn’t know what to do with himself after Theriot tradeMonday, Aug. 2, 2010 Media personality must take his career off auto-pilot Local sports media personality David Kaplan says that he was practically at a loss for words following the trade of his sidekick Ryan Theriot to the Dodgers just before the July 31 trade deadline. Read More  Fans outraged by smart business move as Blackhawks ditch Niemi for TurcoMonday, Aug. 2, 2010 Ability to comprehend saving more than $1 million and signing all-star goalie lost on fans The Blackhawks again made off-season headlines by cutting another hero from their Stanley Cup-winning team Monday by parting ways with goalie Antti Niemi in favor of former Dallas Star Marty Turco. Fans were outraged by the move, which saved the Hawks roughly $1 million in cap space and brought them an established premier netminder. Read More  Suddenly cash-strapped Cubs will hire part-time managers to save on health insurance costsFriday, July 30, 2010 Girardi, Torre, Sandberg to split duties, hopefully not get sick Hiring part-time managers is the latest in a series of revenue-enhancers, such as Cubs Fantasy Camp, the PNC Club, the Toyota sign and the Noodle, announced by the Cubs in 2010. Read More  Lovie strikes fear into opposing teams' hearts with proclamation that 'Bears will be good'Friday, July 30, 2010 Bears know he's fired up Lovie Smith is not known for rousing pregame or halftime speeches. His rhetoric is so uninspiring that he plays clips from movies like "Rudy" and "Varsity Blues" to fire up his team during halftime. Read More  Missed The Heckler Half Hour Comedy Spectacular a couple weeks ago? Check it out hereFriday, July 30, 2010 Guaranteed to be the best half hour of the next 60 minutes of your life In case you missed The Heckler's cable access show a couple weeks back because you had something better to do at 10 on a Sunday night, here it is for you to watch at your leisure. Read More  Zambrano to return in straitjacketThursday, July 29, 2010 Troubled hurler spewing new 'Hell Pitch' from his mouth When troubled pitcher Carlos Zambrano re-joins the Cubs tomorrow it will be on the condition that he wear a straitjacket during play, forcing him to pitch with his mouth. Read More  Huet loses Stanley CupThursday, July 29, 2010 Backup goalie's Ill-fated day with Cup ends badly While NHL officials have not given up hope of finding it, the location of hockey's storied Stanley Cup is presently unknown, having gone missing while in the possession of Blackhawks backup goalie Cristobal Huet. Read More Radio Brief: Chicago sports media working to correct recent underreporting of unfounded rumors Wednesday, Jul. 28, 2010 The Chicago sports world is very worried about the lack of wild speculation gripping the city. Read More  Andruw Jones wakes up with severed horse head in bed after nearly hitting Daley with batThursday, July 28, 2010 Ozzie plans to retaliate Mayor Daley received a major scare after Andruw Jones lost control of his bat during the fourth inning of Wednesday night's White Sox-Mariners game, nearly hitting Daley who was sitting in the second row. The mayor smiled after the incident, but Thursday morning Jones woke up to find a severed horse head in bed next to him. Read More  D Lee doesn't feel like trying to win a World Series this yearWednesday, July 28, 2010 Derrek Lee today informed the Cubs he would invoke his no-trade clause should the team attempt to deal him to a contender before Saturday's trade deadline. Accepting a trade would have helped the Cubs dump some payroll while enabling him to pursue a championship. Read More  Aramis to try out for NBA; 'I love the 82-game season' says third basemanWednesday, July 28, 2010 'I want to play a sport where my team will actually put some points on the board' Cubs third baseman Aramis Ramirez recently announced he's going to try out for the NBA this fall, citing the league's 82-game season as the perfect length for his dwindling work ethic. Read More  Cubs to establish Hall of Fame in broom closet of new Wrigley retail developmentTuesday, July 27, 2010 Kenney elated by the news In the near future, Clark Street near Wrigley Field may have a distinctly different look as old standbys like Goose Island Brewery and Salt & Pepper Diner are leveled for a new retail complex that was recently approved. Read More  Quenneville's mustache traded to VancouverMonday, July 26, 2010 Canucks coach already seen sporting it around town The latest move made by Hawks GM Stan Bowman has coach Joel Quenneville's mustache headed to the Canucks. Read More Zambrano to pitch from lotus position Tuesday, July 20, 2010 The former Cubs ace has taken to a new life -- and pitching -- style. Read More ESPN to broadcast ongoing Favre special 'The Indecision' Monday, July 26, 2010 Not to be outdone by LeBron James' free agency spectacle earlier this month, Brett Favre request airing of his own ESPN special. But unlike James' hour-long debacle, the Favre special will serve as a weekly mini-series until the start of the football season. Read More Radio Brief: Sox admit they turned around season just to piss off Cubs fans Thursday, Jul. 22, 2010 Paul Konerko says the team's incredible turnaround was inspired by their enjoyment of messing with Cubs fans. Read More  Retired Piniella to officially retire at end of seasonTuesday, July 20, 2010 Soriano will miss manager as 'great motivator' Cubs skipper Lou Piniella announced today that he would be retiring from baseball at the end of the season. The former Manager of the Year's official announcement comes nearly two years after his actual retirement, which occurred when the Cubs were swept from the playoffs by the Dodgers in the 2008 NLDS. Read More  Piniella coming out of retirement to manage remainder of 2010 seasonTuesday, July 20, 2010 Players motivated by skipper's announcement going to unretire as well Cubs manager Lou Piniella surprised insiders by announcing he would return from retirement to manage the 2010 Cubs through the end of the season. Many close to the Cubs believed Piniella was finished coaching more than a year ago. Read More Hendry follows Piniella's lead, announces he'll retire after 2016 season Tuesday, July 20, 2010 Ricketts not so sure he agrees with Hendry's plan In the wake of Lou Piniella's annoucement that he'll be retired after this season, GM Jim Hendry said he too will be calling it quits, but not until 2016. Read More  Sox fan gets U.S. Cellular Field scoreboard-influenced spinner rims on CamaroMonday, July 19, 2010 Sox fan Delvin Tucker got the birthday gift of a lifetime when his wife Destiny surprised him with new spinners for his Camaro. The spinners, which resemble the multi-colored pinwheels on the U.S. Cellular Field scoreboard, were paid for by a combination of food stamps, a broken down Go-Kart, and a rusting yield sign. Read More Jordan criticizes LeBron, places $1 million bet on Heat to win title Monday, July 19, 2010 Ever the shrewd businessman and gambling addict, Michael Jordan put $1 million on the Heat to win the 2010-2011 NBA title on the same weekend he criticized LeBron James for joining the team. Read More  Piniella uses cardboard cutout of Ricketts to motivate teamFriday, July 16, 2010 'With every win, we rip off a piece of clothing' Lou Piniella has been looking for ways to motivate the Cubs for most of the season. He's read books, hired motivational speakers, and in desperation, turned to one of the Holy Grails of baseball movies—"Major League." Read More Heckler Exclusive: Insider opinions on rebuilding the Cubs Friday, July 16, 2010 Even the most casual observer can see that this version of the Chicago Cubs isn’t going to win a World Series. And even the most casual observer probably has their own thoughts on the best way to rebuild the team. But what about the opinion of those that matter most? The Heckler asked some folks in the Cubs organization what they think needs to be done to fix the Cubs. Read More  Cubs discipline Big Z by making him continue to pitch for themThursday, July 15, 2010 The Cubs disciplined Carlos Zambrano, following his outburst in the dugout last month, by advising the maligned hurler that he still has to pitch for them consistent with the terms laid out in the five-year, $91 million contract he signed in 2007. Read More  Woo-Woo gets vuvuzela for second half of seasonThursday, July 15, 2010 Cubs mascot defies logic and finds way to become even more annoying Fueled by the popularity of the vuvuzela in the FIFA World Cup, Cubs super fan Ronnie "Woo-Woo" Wickers has acquired one of the cheap plastic meter-long horns to play during Cubs games when his favorite team returns home from the All-Star break Thursday night to play the Phillies. Read More David Stern emerges from month-long vacation to speak out against LeBron debacle Tuesday, July 13, 2010 NBA commish looking tan and well-rested after choatic month in league NBA Commissioner David Stern returned yesterday from his month-long vacation to speak out against the LeBron James "Decision" debacle and fine Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert $100,000 for the emotionally charged, comic sans letter to fans he posted just hours after James spurned his team for Miami. Read More  Heckler Approved: 13ars of Summer Pub CrawlTuesday, July 13, 2010 The 13ars Series is honoring each of the Summer's 13 weeks by visiting 13 of Wrigleyville's best bars on July 31. Celebrate the season by participating in The 13ars Series’ inaugural 13ars of Summer Pub Crawl. Great beer, liquor and food specials will be offered by each of the 13 bars. For more info, please visit www.13ars.com. Read More Radio Brief: Woman pissed recent run of decent play has made husband care about Cubs again Monday, July 12, 2010 A woman can't believe her husband has been fooled into thinking the Cubs still have a chance. Read More  July '10 issue is out: Big Z returns, Cubs get Hall of Fame, Hawks make another big tradeMonday, July 12, 2010 Another month of unbelievable sports news With so much going on in Chicago's topsy-turvy sports world, The Heckler's July issue is here to help you make sense of it all. Read More  Angels' Rally Monkey drugged even more than usual to prepare for All-Star festivitiesMonday, July 12, 2010 Tuesday's 2010 All-Star Game in Anaheim will feature Angels mascot "The Rally Monkey" frequently during the festivities throughout the weekend. Read More  Chicago regrets trading Benny the Bull to free up cap space for LeBronFriday, July 9, 2010 Still believes ditching Hinrich was the right move As the Bulls off-loaded salaries to free up cap space in anticipation of a big free-agent signing, they got especially aggressive and made several big trades. Read More  Carmelo Watch: Bulls now set sights on botching a big free agent signing in 2011Thursday, July 8, 2010 Forman: 'A lot of options out there' After coming so close to signing superstar free agent LeBron James, only to see him head to the Miami Heat, Bulls GM Gar Forman is already looking forward to screwing up the free agent class of 2011. Read More  Sources: LeBron ESPN special pits Reinsdorf vs. Jay-Z in epic rap festThursday, July 8, 2010 Cavs will still probably re-sign him anyway In an interesting twist to the 2010 basketball free agency season, Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf tonight will face Jay-Z on ESPN tonight in a rap battle to determine where the reigning NBA MVP will play in the future. Read More  Free agents getting scared away by Gar Forman's foreheadWednesday, July 7, 2010 Bulls' fans worst fears may be realized this week as it appears the team will come up empty in their pursuit of any big name free agents. Lacking a “closer” within the organization to reel in the big fish, many are starting to point the finger at GM Gar Forman as the main reason why free agents are turning their backs to Chicago. Read More Heckler Approved: Cubs Fan Report Wednesday, July 7, 2010 The 2010 Cubs may suck, the these guys don't. Read More Radio Brief: Zambrano explodes in spectacular Fourth of July display Monday, Jul. 5, 2010 Some of the Independence Day fireworks seen in the Chicago sky were actually the Cubs pitcher once again blowing up. Read More  LeBron calls hour-long press conference to announce he's not signing with TimberwolvesWednesday, July 7, 2010 James to hold press conference for each team he's not joining NBA superstar and prized free agent LeBron James announced Tuesday that he'll be hosting a nationally televised one-hour press conference Thursday in which he plans to announce he will not be signing with the Minnesota Timberwolves. Read More  Bulls fan doubts he can get behind a team without Deng and HinrichTuesday, July 6, 2010 Just a week after Kirk Hinrich was traded to Washington, the Bulls are talking with Portland about a Luol Deng deal and at least one fan is deflated. Read More  LeBron Watch: Blogger's ability to Photoshop James in Bulls jersey confirms he could sign with ChicagoFriday, July 2, 2010 Photo ranks as blogger's second-most popular posting of all time The NBA's free agency extravaganza is just now officially in session, but rampant, uninformed speculation has been going on for months. Read More Blackhawks put heart and soul on open market Friday, July 2, 2010 Suitors line up after fire sale Just two weeks after winning the Stanley Cup, the Blackhawks have traded several key players to help ease the salary cap crunch they are facing heading into next season. The fire sale reached a new low when the team's heart and soul was put on the trading block. Read More  Practical joke goes terribly awry as Dempster gets stuck in Wrigley men's room troughThursday, July 1, 2010 A clubhouse practical joke went awry at Wrigley Field when Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster found himself trapped knee-deep in a trough in a stadium men's room. Read More  LeBron Watch: Bulls step up recruiting efforts by unveiling statue of James dunking over Jordan statueThursday, July 1, 2010 Paxson: 'We think he'll love walking by the statue of him dunking over Jordan however' As the NBA free agency season begins and speculation about LeBron James' destination has reached a fevered pitch. Many believe the Bulls' chances are limited by Michael Jordan's legacy, but the team made a major statement by erecting a statue of James dunking over the famous Jordan statue outside the United Center. Read More Radio Brief: Cubs fan considers unprecedented switch to the Sox after Zambrano blowup Monday, Jun. 28, 2010 Zambrano's latest antics cause one North Side fan to contemplate what used to be unthinkable. Read More Ramirez fires self as hitting coach Wednesday, June 30, 2010 Jaramillo's attempt to offer tips quickly rebuffed With his batting average continuing to languish at a pathetic .173, Aramis Ramirez—who earlier in the season anointed himself his own hitting coach--finally fired himself before Tuesday night's game against Pittsburgh. Read More  LeBron Watch: Free agent sweepstakes to be decided by Willy Wonka Golden TicketWednesday, June 30, 2010 Riots break out around the country as promotion stirs a frenzy Looking to even the playing field and avoid any possible collusion scenarios, the NBA will officially award LeBron James to the team that finds a magic ticket in a candy bar. Commissioner David Stern personally placed a golden ticket inside of a Willy Wonka chocolate bar and wished good luck to fans in all NBA cities. Read More  LeBron Watch: Superstar free agent quits basketball to play for Indians' Double-A teamTuesday, June 29, 2010 Star follows in Jordan's footsteps The NBA's free agency roller coaster took another surprising turn today when LeBron James retired from basketball to play minor league baseball instead. Read More White Sox award BP Cup to Carlos Zambrano Tuesday, June 29, 2010 In a surprise move, the White Sox, winners of the first-ever BP Crosstown Cup, have voted to award the trophy to suspended Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano. Read More  Save 70% at Fifty/50's "National 40 Week" this Friday nightMonday, June 28, 2010 Kick off your 4th of July weekend in style The Heckler is once again co-sponsoring Fifty/50's National 40 Week. Join us Friday, July 2nd for the "All Things Mickey" Party at 10 p.m. Pre-pay for a massive discount and a chance to win some great stuff. Read More  LeBron Watch: Good news for Chicagoans? James spotted eating hot dog with no ketchupMonday, June 28, 2010 Blogger claims that confirms he's coming to Chicago The NBA free agent signing period is nearing and Chicagoans are deep in LeBron James fever. Read More Winner of Crosstown Cup to be awarded 5th place in AL West Thursday, June 24, 2010 Adding yet another chapter to their exciting crosstown series legacy, the winner of the Crosstown Cup between the Cubs and White Sox will be awarded fifth place in the American League West. Read More  Kane virginity promise in doubt after startling picture surfacesThursday, June 24, 2010 'To think a young, rich, famous, championship-winning pro athlete might be having non-marital sex with women he barely knows is just shocking' A photo of Patrick Kane and a woman in bed circulating the internet and published on Deadspin yesterday directly contradicts the virginity promise the young Blackhawks' star made in church when he was just 13. Read More Guy who couldn't pronounce Byfuglien six months ago 'totally pissed' about trade Thursday, June 24, 2010 'This is a total blow' When the Blackhawks traded Dustin Byfuglien, Brent Sopel and Ben Eager to the Thrashers Wednesday, many viewed it as a necessary, yet painful move driven by salary cap pressures for the reigning champs. Newbie fan Mike Johnston, however, was outraged. Read More Radio Brief: Hendry makes another bad move, giving himself a 5-year extension Wednesday, Jun. 23, 2010 The Cubs GM continues his disappointing run by extending his disappointing run. Read More  Blackhawks to send ugliest player to Gay Pride ParadeWednesday, June 23, 2010 Attendees long for Sharp, Toews or Kane The Blackhawks Wednesday announced Brent Sopel would bring the Stanley Cup to the weekend's Gay Pride Parade in Chicago's Boystown neighborhood. Attendees were happy the NHL champions were acknowledging the city's gay population but disappointed they were sending its ugliest player to do so. Read More Bears to join Big Ten Friday, June 18, 2010 Urlacher expresses ambivalence at move Another major change to the college football landscape: The Chicago Bears have announced that they'll join the Big Ten athletic conference in the summer of 2011. Read More Radio Brief: Bandwagon jumpers promise to remain Hawks fans, unless Bulls sign LeBron Wednesday, Jun. 16, 2010 People throughout the Chicagoland area say they'll stick with their new love, unless LeBron comes to the Bulls and makes basketball interesting again. Read More  Cubs perfectly represent 2010 season with limp noodle 'art' outside WrigleyWednesday, June 16, 2010 Ad for Kraft compared to Millennium Park's Bean Just hours before their rain-delayed, error-plagued loss to the A's, the Cubs found a perfect way to portray their 2010 season by erecting a giant limp noodle ad statue outside Wrigley Field. Read More Cubs fan unable to trade extra bleacher ticket for bag of peanuts last night Wednesday, June 16, 2010 Vendor says ticket is worthless Cubs fan Brad Feldman was stuck with an extra bleacher ticket to Tuesday night's rain-delayed game against the A's and had no luck selling it on the street for even pennies on the dollar, so he tried to get at least some value out it. Read More  Blackhawks take break from touring libraries and soup kitchens to bring Stanley Cup to WrigleyMonday, June 14, 2010 Partying fans finally get chance to see players and their Cup The Blackhawks postponed their Stanley Cup weekend tour of community organizations to stop at Wrigley Field for Sunday night's Cubs-Sox game. Fans were thrilled to finally have a chance to finally party with the players and their trophy. Read More Radio Brief: No longer distracted by Blackhawks, Cubs fan realizes team sucks Monday, Jun. 14, 2010 With the Stanley Cup playoffs over, a North Side fan pays attention to baseball for the first time only to discover the season is basically over. Read More  Tribune invents new automaker in headline about Toyota signFriday, June 11, 2010 'Toyoto' apparently a merger between Toyota and Volvo The Tribune scored a massive scoop Friday when it announced to web site visitors that a new car company named Toyoto would be advertising inside Wrigley Field. The signage in question currently belongs to Toyota, but the Tribune found out the company was merging with Volvo to form "Toyoto." Read More  Cubs get Toyota sign up just in time for White Sox seriesThursday, June 10, 2010 'That was a close one!' says Kenney The Cubs will have a new addition Friday when they take on the White Sox, but it won't be a much-needed clutch hitter or bullpen ace. Instead, thanks to a feverish installation Thursday, the back wall of Wrigley Field's left field bleachers now features the infamous Toyota sign that's been debated for months. Read More  June '10 Issue is out: Hawks are champs; Crosstown winner to be awarded 5th in AL WestFriday, June 11, 2010 All the unbelievable Chicago sports news you can handle With so much going on in Chicago's topsy-turvy sports world, The Heckler's June issue is here to help you make sense of it all. Read More  Wrigley marquee again used to congratulate champions other than CubsThursday, June 10, 2010 Someday? The Cubs typically use the electronic message board on their famed stadium marquee to broadcast messaging from corporate sponsors. Occasionally they congratulate another team for winning a championship. Someday maybe that team will be them. Read More  Thousands gather in Wrigleyville to celebrate Cubs' 9-4 win over Milwaukee Wednesday nightThursday, June 10, 2010 Fans chant 'Philly sucks!' while proclaiming Chicago champs The intersection of Clark and Addison was filled with fans celebrating the Cubs huge 9-4 win in Milwaukee Wednesday night, which moved the North Siders to just five games under .500 and 6.5 games behind the first-place Cincinnati Reds in the NL Central. Read More Blackhawks fan who just bought 'Chelsea Dagger' regrettably learns rest of song sucks Thursday, June 10, 2010 Fan learns the hard way that only the chorus is catchy After watching his team win their first Stanley Cup in nearly 50 years, Blackhawks fan Bill Umberg was so inspired by Chicago's rock anthem he decided to shell out 99 cents and purchase it on iTunes. It was a move he soon regretted. Read More  Blackhawks bring Stanley Cup to billionaire liquor baron team ownerThursday, June 10, 2010 Toews, Kane, Niemi, Byfuglien and company won the most prestigious trophy in professional sports last night, and owner William Rockwell "Rocky" Wirtz couldn't be happier. Read More  Blackhawks to let each season ticket holder from prior to 2008 spend time with Stanley CupThursday, June 10, 2010 Wirtz emails heartfelt thank-you to long-time fans In an unprecedented move, the Blackhawks announced they'd let season ticket holders whose accounts predate the team's renaissance each spend several hours with the Stanley Cup, which the team won Wednesday night in Philadelphia. Read More  Hawks win first of 6 Stanley Cups over the next 8 years says fan who grew up watching Jordan's BullsThursday, June 11, 2010 'Can't be that hard' says fan who grew up watching Jordan and the Bulls The Blackhawks won their first Stanley Cup in nearly half a century with a thrilling OT win over the Flyers Wednesday night. Some die-hard fans are already calling it the first of multiple championships to come and comparing them to the Bulls of the '90s. Read More Cubs ask if they can borrow Stanley Cup to use for Crosstown Cup as well Thursday, June 10, 2010 Kenney: 'It would be nice to win the Stanley Cup' Following the Blackhawks' Stanley Cup championship win Wednesday night, the Cubs have asked the Hawks if they can borrow the Stanley Cup for use in lieu of the maligned and pointless BP Crosstown Cup when they battle the White Sox at Wrigley this weekend. Read More  Area farmer changes prized jackass's name to Chris ProngerWednesday, June 9, 2010 Name to remain changed forever Farmer Bill Mackey has decided to name his prized jackass after Chris Pronger, the Flyers defenseman who had one of the worst games of his career during the Blackhawks big 7-4 win over Philadelphia Sunday night. Read More  Stonemasons decide Cubs won't win Series until 2087Wednesday, June 9, 2010 Custodian finds secret society's shocking notes The predetermined season outcomes of the next 90 years of pro baseball were made public after a custodian found notes from an Ancient Society of the Stonemasons meeting in the basement of Goldman Sachs' corporate headquarters. Read More  NHL bills Pronger for stolen pucksFriday, June 4, 2010 Flyers defenseman forwards bill to Byfuglien Earlier this week, Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger made headlines by stealing the game puck after Blackhawks wins in games one and two of the Stanley Cup Finals. Hawks fans, players and hockey insiders were angered by the move, which Pronger has used to deflect attention from his team's early struggles in the championship round. Read More  Mutton-chopped Toews lands Civil War movie roleFriday, June 4, 2010 Also in talks to star as a young teenage version of Wolverine After honing his acting chops in several local commercials with teammate Patrick Kane, Blackhawks center Jonathan Toews has landed a role in a Civil War film, largely thanks to his mutton chops playoff beard. Read More  Blackhawks: 'We didn't want a sweep anyway'Thursday, June 3, 2010 Finals now forced to come back to Chicago for at least Game 5 Blackhawks fans were dejected as the puck dribbled through Antti Niemi's legs in overtime Wednesday night, giving the Philadelphia Flyers their first win of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Chicago coach Joel Quenneville and his team were secretly elated. Read More  Niemi stops BP oil spill on off dayWednesday, June 2, 2010 Obama praises goalie and his defensemen After a slew of failed BP attempts to stem the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, the flow was finally cut off when President Obama called in Blackhawks star goalie Antti Niemi for the government-led "Blocker Save" measure on the team's day off from the Stanley Cup Finals. Read More Doug Glanville to appear on The Interview Show Friday night at the Hideout Wednesday, June 2, 2010 Former Cub headlines super-cool live show at 6:30 Host of the super-cool "The Interview Show" and friend of The Heckler Mark Bazer will be joined by former Cub and author Doug Glanville and several other guests this Friday night at the Hideout. Read More  Radio Brief: Typo-laden Chicagosports.com misspells own URLWednesday, Jun. 2, 2010 The website known for its spelling mistakes makes a big one. Read More Grabow lands on DL with bruised ego, broken fastball Monday, May 31, 2010 Piniella not sure when lefty will return Cubs reliever John Grabow has been sent to the disabled list with a bruised ego and broken fastball. Read More  Sam Fuld Fan Club becomes Tyler Colvin Fan ClubFriday, May 28, 2010 Change only required altering one cardboard sign After suffering some disappointment when their favorite young player didn't make the big league club out of Spring Training, the Sam Fuld Fan Club regrouped and latched onto another upstart—Tyler Colvin, the offensive hero of Thursday's 1-0 win over L.A. Read More Most Blackhawks still three weeks away from growing decent playoff beards Friday, May 28, 2010 Only Byfuglien and Madden have respectible facial hair The Stanley Cup playoffs have entered their final round, which usually means full playoff beards for participating players. Unfortunately, most of the young Blackhawks still have a ways to go on their facial hair. Read More  Len Kasper loses his cool on-air, utters 'darnitall' during loss to DodgersThursday, May 27, 2010 Cubs' poor showing, power outage at Wrigley prompt meltdown Lamenting the game's outcome and 15-minute delay brought on by a power outage, Kasper unleashed a slew of "Darnitalls," "What the hecks?" and "Good griefs." WGN censors were not able to bleep out the profanity-laced outburst in time, subjecting millions of innocent children to Kasper's foul-mouthed rant. Read More  Bulls offer jobs to members of LeBron's entourageWednesday, May 26, 2010 Other teams make compelling offers to James' cronies The rumors swirling around LeBron James' possible future as a Bull were stoked yesterday when the team reportedly offered four members of James' entourage "honorary positions" with the franchise. Read More Radio Brief: Bulls begin wooing of LeBron by offering jobs to members of his entourage Tuesday, May 25, 2010 The Bulls are hoping they can make the decision to sign with them easier for the league MVP by putting his lackeys on their payroll. Read More  Blackhawks fans set to destroy Flyers for first of 10 straight Stanley Cup winsTuesday, May 25, 2010 'Maybe the Hawks will win 12 straight championships' Blackhawks fans are riled up and confident their team will eliminate the Flyers in the first of 10 straight Stanley Cup victories for Chicago. Read More  Ball pit added to warning track in left so Soriano won't be so afraid of wallTuesday, May 25, 2010 Also gives Piniella somewhere to nap Alfonso Soriano's fear of the brick outfield wall at Wrigley has been well-documented. In hopes of quashing the phobia of their $136 million man, Cubs officials have added ball pits to the warning track, enticing Soriano to dive into the area. Read More  Zambrano kicked out of simulated game for arguing balls and strikes with pitching coachMonday, May 24, 2010 Rothschild loses patience with fiery slugger Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano threw a simulated game today to prepare for a possible return to the starting rotation following a short and ill-fated stint in the bullpen. The simulated game didn't go well, however, as the fiery Zambrano was ejected after just a few innings for arguing balls and strikes with pitching coach Larry Rothschild who was serving as umpire. Read More  Video Report: First-ever UFC promotion at U.S. Cellular Field deemed successfulMonday, May 24, 2010 Fans beat each other up while fans cheer and security stays away Late last week, the White Sox held their first-ever joint promotion with the Ultimate Fighting Championship and allowed fans to duke it out in the stands while an angry mob of fans cheered, threw beers and even joined in. Read More  Sox wore new Sunday Zubaz uniforms yesterdayMonday, May 24, 2010 Konerko: 'It's like playing in very unsexy pajamas' The White Sox jazzed up their Sunday home uniforms yesterday. Instead of alternate colors or throwback jerseys, players wore full Zubaz gear in their 13-0 loss to Florida. The new uniforms feature elastic bands, unsupportive crotches and outrageous stripes no woman has ever found attractive. Read More  Hawk Harrelson finally runs out of excuses for awful SoxFriday, May 21, 2010 Blames sun, United Nations before finally just shutting up Longtime White Sox play-by-play man Ken "Hawk" Harrelson, known as one of the biggest homers in all of sports, finally ran out of excuses for the terrible play of his team. Read More  Paxson to Stern: Can we get that No. 1 pick again?Wednesday, May 19, 2010 Bulls exec's pleading phone with NBA commish unearthed In a shocking development leading up to yesterday's NBA lottery, Bulls VP of Basketball Operations John Paxson apparently tried to tamper with the draft order to get the top pick. Read More Radio Brief: Cubs, Sox pin playoff hopes on petition to combine their win totals Wednesday, May 19, 2010 The two Chicago baseball teams realize their only shot at making it to the postseason this year is if they're allowed to pool their wins together. Read More  Quenneville's mustache grows playoff beardTuesday, May 18, 2010 Coach's mustache already had the personality. Now it's got the beard. While Jonathan Toews' Wolverine-style sideburns grabbed the attention last season and Patrick Kane's mullet has turned plenty of heads this year, coach Joel Quenneville's usually meticulously trimmed mustache is sporting some new tresses. Read More  Wrigley skybox converted to actual money-burning machineTuesday, May 18, 2010 Selig intrigued by unique revenue stream With the economy in the tank, many businesses can't afford the high-priced luxury of a Wrigley suite. To accomodate this, the Cubs have converted one skybox into an actual money-burning machine. Read More  LeBron sends strong signal by wearing Knicks uniform against CeltsFriday, May 13, 2010 Star still refuses to comment on free agency status LeBron James may have tipped his hand in the looming free agency frenzy by wearing a Knicks uniform for most of the fourth quarter during the Cavs' elimination by the Celtics Thursday night. Read More  Cubs selling Zambrano's contract on GrouponThursday, May 13, 2010 Contract of highest paid setup man in baseball history being sold at half price When the Cubs moved Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen last month, it highlighted the team's need to offload the three remaining seasons on the five-year $90 million contract the former ace signed in 2007. Read More Radio Brief: Piniella takes different approach to nonsensical post-game ramblings Thursday, May 13, 2010 The Cubs manager went about confusing reporters in a brand new way this week. Read More  Drunken Ricketts has first Cubs fan experienceThursday, May 13, 2010 New owner passes out in bleachers after 9th Mai Tai A current radio ad campaign that speaks to "Cubs tradition" inspired new Cubs owner Tom Ricketts to experiment with the "way of life" of a Cubs fan as he passed out in the bleachers after his ninth Mai Tai during a recent game at Wrigley. Read More  Wrigley rooftops to show remaining Hawks playoff games on giant flatscreensWednesday, May 12, 2010 View of Cubs games to be blocked, but no one on rooftops seems to mind As the Cubs were flailing away to yet another loss Tuesday night, the Blackhawks had captured the city's attention on their way to a 5-1 drubbing of the Canucks that solidified a berth to the Western Conference Finals. Read More  Rookie blames crazy Cubs fans for bad Wrigley debutMonday, May 10, 2010 Piniella: 'Castro's Commies freaked the bejesus out of Starlin' A group of overeager Cubs fans identifying themselves as "Castro's Commies" dressed like Cuban dictator Fidel Castro to show their support for super-rookie Starlin of the same last name. Their team spirit was misguided as the 20-year-old Dominican native was startled by the presence of what he feared were Socialist rebels in the stands. A flustered Castro had three awful errors as the Cubs lost 4-2 to the Marlins Monday night. Read More |
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